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It is Good to Know Your Limits

There is something to be said for knowing when to say enough is enough. That is where I am. I am in the process of adjusting my long term and short term goals. I am writing, creating and living my best life at the moment. I discovered that I am filled with happy exhaustion.

What about you?

Are you brain tired? Do your goals look out of focus or unattainable? Maybe it is time to simply be present. Take a long look at what you want out of life. Sometimes we reach a goal and other milestones move and shift. Things we thought we wanted to accomplish don’t look as appealing or important in light of how things have changed. Maybe you learned some incredible things about yourself as you were working toward the last goal or completed the last step on your path.

Do not be afraid to change your direction or to completely jump on to another road in life. That is the beauty of being a human. You are in control of your own life and your own feet. Pick up your step and go where you need to go or find a nice shady spot to stop and sit a spell.

There is no shame in taking a step back to reevaluate your plan and make adjustments. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

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Why Bother?

I recently read an article that said the average income for a published author is less than 10k a year. If you factor in that Ebooks are easily pirated and copyrighted material is easily duplicated, the average income drops significantly. One reason that we O’Garas offer ebooks exclusively through Amazon is that if a Dear reader says, “I saw your ebook on website X”, I know my work was stolen. I also very rarely offer free ebooks. Not a fool proof defense, but the options for fighting pirates for authors are few.

So why bother publishing at all?

Simple, I don’t write for money and I don’t write for free. I know my words are good and I have things to share with readers. Those readers love to read my work. Those readers buy my books. Those readers will say thank you when I send out advance free paperbacks. They will share my words with their friends. Those friends will become readers. My readers, my tribe, will have my back.

I write for those readers.

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Sometimes You Need a Little Time

I have taken a few days off from writing. Before my short break I had posted to this blog every day for 569 days. I was a little disappointed in myself for breaking my streak, but I needed the time to regroup. I need space to think about where my writing was going. By taking that break I now have a plan and a path to follow.

When your life is moving forward and you realize that you do not know exactly where the path is headed, you need to take a little time to form a plan. Don’t just let life take you on a journey without controlling the route.

Your life is in your hands. You are in charge of choosing where you go. What happens along the way is not always your choice, however you can change directions. You are not a tree.

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Never Seek Revenge

I read a quote today,

“Never seek revenge rotten fruit will fall by itself.”

As I think about those who have been mean to me, I realize when it all comes down to it, every one of us will get what we deserve. Taking steps to expedite that process for those who did you wrong doesn’t often end well for you.

Leave revenge to God.

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Appreciate Who You Love

So many humans take for granted the people who love them the most. They assume their family and friends will always be there doing what they always do.

Don’t make that mistake.

Show them you really are thankful for them. That’s that love does.

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Value of Loss

We had a loss due to a storage unit leaking. My family lost heirlooms, books, clothing, and other things. The insurance company wants me to put a value on these things to file a claim.

How can I put a value on my children’s tears, my husband’s grief or my anger for all that is gone? There is no price for the loss.

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I Drink Champagne Now

You used to be my cup of tea but I drink champagne now.

One day I woke up and decided I no longer liked lukewarm tea. However my tea would not get hot. It was not behaving like a good tea should. I packed my bags and went on a search for something sweet and lively.

When your tea gets cold and refuses to reheat, let it go. Life is too short for bad taste.

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Worry is Heavy

Worry is a heavy load. It weighs you down causing clear thought and action difficult. The thing about worrying is it comes on a small bit at a time. Before too long it is so heavy you can only lay in your bed and cry.

If you see someone weighed down with worry, do what you can to lighten their load before it’s too late.

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Not Everyone Needs to Know your Story

People are nosy by nature. They want to hear the story. Humans like gossip. They will sometimes ask inappropriate questions to get the scoop. They mean no harm most of the time. They really don’t care about the other humans involved. They just want to know about the drama and what happened.

Remember when some well meaning person asks you what happened, they may not actually care about you.

Not everyone needs to know your business. It’s probably better for you if they don’t know.

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Memory is a Strange Friend

I am struggling to remember simple things like conversations with my husband from this morning but ask me what I wore to the 8th grade prom I’ll describe it too you down to the pink asymmetrical hemline.

Why is memory so weird? I’m worried that like many of my relatives I will develop dementia. Every time I have trouble remembering a thing I think, “This is it. The beginning of the end.”

What’s your trick for remembering?

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Sometimes You Rest

Even if you have a full calendar, sometimes you have to rest. It may mean you can’t get to that appointment. You may have to say no to doing that favor. You may have to disappoint someone.

Sometimes you have to put yourself first.

The world won’t end if you just let it all go and rest.

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Dogs

I was always a cat person. I mean I loved cats. I had a cat since I was six years old. Then I got a dog and my world changed. I am now also a dog person. I still had cats, but dogs treat humans differently than cats.

Dogs are love on four feet. They will love you, tail wagging no matter how you treat them. Dogs love their humans more than they love themselves. They are always happy to see you. They never question your fashion choices. They are great listeners. Dogs snuggle you when you need a hug. Dogs protect you.

“A dog doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his.”
Author John Grogan

If you have never been loved by a dog, you should give it a try. Adopt a dog.

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Do Not Stop

When you are working toward a future that you want, do not stop. Keep working towards your goal. One small step forward is still progress. It will not always be easy. In fact I can guarantee you that there will be bad days and tough times. Just keep going.

My MeMa said, “Keep going, like a cat eating a grinding rock. One small lick at a time.”

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Owls are Wise

Some grandmother’s collect salt and pepper shakers, porcelain dolls, pace doilies, quilts, or china sets. My grandmother collected all of those things and more but the catch was it must have an owl on it. She collected all things owls.

I asked her why she liked owls and she said, “A wise old owl lived in an oak. The more he saw the less he spoke.The less he spoke the more he heard. Be like the wise bird. It’s wise to love Jesus too. Owls remind me to be wise.”

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I Do what I Want

Remember when you were a young human and you said something like, “I can’t wait to be an adult so I can do what I want”?

How’s that going for you? If it is going well tell us your secret. All I want to do is spend as much time with my husband and family as there are hours.

Unfortunately that doesn’t happen. With work and my family being spread across many miles, I do not get to do what I want and I am certainly an adult.

Now if money was endless… then I could do what I want.

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Don’t Settle Unless You Must

Five years ago my husband and I were in a situation where we had to get a house fast. So in a matter of six days we got a house to rent. We settled for what we could afford and what we could find in a hurry.

We’re always told to live our best life. Enjoy the grand adventure. Be all you can be. Don’t settle for second-best. Sometimes the situation is beyond your control leaving you no choice but to settle.

You do not have to stay there.

Settle if you must but don’t root there.

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A Quiet Mind isn’t an Empty Mind

In today’s world it’s difficult to settle your mind. We are always so busy and going all the time that our brain is over stimulated. We are constantly hit with screens and sounds.

Practice quieting your mind. Focus on the emptiness. Science has proven that men can sit and think nothing and women have to work at it. Anyone can empty their mind with practice.

Find your method. Practice and rest your mind.

You’ll be surprised at the quality of ideas you amazing brain produces in the silence.

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Home

Home is a place. Home is a feeling of belonging to a family. Home is that safe peace when held in the arms of the one who loves you most.

For some humans the thought of home is terrifying. If there is no love where they are told is home, it can be deviation and sadness.

That is not home.

That is hell and no one deserves that.

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Can We Just be Honest?

If you want, need, hate, love, or crave something just say it. Humans are so worried about what other people think they walk lightly around the truth. Just be honest already.

If you are honest and the other person doesn’t like what you said at least you can say that you are speaking truth. You are not responsible for their response.

You are responsible for being true to yourself.

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Side Effects of Convenience

I saw the strangest thing today a teenager who could not operate a computer. His grandma said it’s because he has always done everything on his phone. I wonder how he will make it in college when he has to type a term paper?

Are we crippling our future generations by giving them too many conveniences?

They already can’t drive a manual transmission car, can’t comparison shop for groceries and have no patience for waiting. They can’t cook without cue cards and all ingredients prepackaged. They can’t dial a phone or remember phone numbers. They lack motivation and settle for the easiest way to do chores. The avoid confrontation to their own peril.

What’s next? I can’t even imagine.

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It’s Hot

I live in Florida and it is hot. Not just hot but humid and hot. It’s like living in a sauna. What did people do before AC?

Thank you Mr Willis Carrier.

What do you do to stay cool? Are you one of the lucky humans who live in a constant temperate climate?

Anyway, I am willing suffer the heat to live here. This is home.

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Is Patriotism Dead

It seems to me that people do not respect the fact that no matter who the president is or what color your state is we Americans are blessed to be in the greatest country on the planet.

People come here because it’s better than where they left. Spend five minutes with a person seeking American citizenship and you will see more patriotism in their eyes than seen in most under 30 year old natural born Americans.

This lack of respect and patriotism makes me sad.

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Rain Again

Where I live it is the rainy season. Every day mid afternoon it rains. I usually enjoy rain, however these days I am tired of rain. I am ready for it to stop. I know rain is important. Without it humans would die. Do we have to have all the rain in one month? Ugh!

How’s the weather where you are?

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Decluttering is Necessary Evil

I would much rather be sitting on the beach sipping mojitos. Where am I you ask? Sitting in the dining room of your new home sifting through boxes and decluttering things.

Why do humans have so much stuff in their homes?

I have environmental anxiety. When my home feels out of control, no matter what the reason, anxiety makes the chaos internal as well as external. When my outer environment is in order it contributes to my inner calm.

Moving is ridiculously stressful. I hope never to have to do it again.

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Discipline is painful

I am not talking about the switch grandma put on your bare legs. Yeah, that hurt. Discipline to improve yourself to grow as a decent human hurts too. Making a plan, seeing it through, doing the right thing, and improving is worth all the pain it takes to get there.

After the pain comes the peace.

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Stress is Weird

Ever seen a funeral where people start laughing? Ever seen a person colapse with tears? Ever seen someone so frustrated that they growl?

Stress is a weird thing. It demands attention. If you ignore it you will get sick or have a mental breakdown. Stress shows up when life is going well and when it is not.

Find your way to cope with stress and don’t let anyone tell you that you are doing it wrong.

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Choose Your Humans

There is nothing wrong with being selective about who you choose to be with or who you choose to have in your life.

You can respectfully decline invitations to protect yourself. Don’t apologize for being choosy.

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A Full House

My house is a shambled mess right now. We just moved and are unpacking. I was grumbling about all we have to do and my momma said…

“A full house means you have a life”. That is one of the best things my momma every said to me.

She is right! It’s a fantastic sight. The stacks of cardboard boxes mean we have a home.

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Perception and Emotional Response

I hired a person to do a big cleaning job. I told them it was going to be a lot of work. I wasn’t getting into the why of it with a cleaning crew, but I told them it was not normal for my family to leave such a mess. I offered to pay more than the quote. The person said no to the extra money after they saw how big the project was and said they could do it. A few minutes later I get a message they are not going to do it after all and further more would not work for me in the future. It wasn’t that they couldn’t do it, but that they didn’t want to.

You work at a cleaning service. Dirt, junk, trash, and clutter that’s your money right? How can something be too dirty? That’s like saying it’s got too much money in it?

I told them it’s a big job, offered to pay more, still they didn’t “want” to do it. This wasn’t about the job being to big, it was about their emotional response.

I appreciate the honesty, but not the judgment.

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What is a Father?

A father can make offspring and walk away. It is not easy to stay and raise your child. It takes work and commitment. Unfortunate for some kids those two things are not required to make children. Humans can make babies and walk away. They can give their children away to others. Humans have a choose to parent their babies or not.

Facts are little humans are better adult humans if they have a father, biological or not, in their lives consistently and long term.

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Everyone Needs a Home

We finally bought a house, well almost, we close soon. If a human doesn’t have security they can’t focus on anything else. Food and shelter are the deepest need we have.

If you can help a fellow human with either of those, you should without expectation of repayment.

It is the right thing to do and pure kindness.

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New and Old Friends

Humans are communal. As much as some of us want to be hermits and loners, we by nature want and need contact with other humans. We gravitate to certain individuals who share common likes and dislikes. If we are lucky we find those who we can attach too for a long term friendship.

Sometimes we find that other person was not who we thought they were the entire time we were friends. The longer the relationship the worse the hurt of rejection. That rejection makes us shy away from making new friends.

The key is to accept that other humans are faulty, let that bad relationship go and move on. Be cautious but don’t let that hurtful experience shut you off from others.

You will miss amazing people and friendships if you close your heart.

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Perspective

Life is all about perspective. Things can be in the preverbal toilet and yet if you can find a happy reason to climb out, there you go. Perspective.

I am alive. What’s the alternative?

Death. The opposite of alive is dead.

See? It is all a matter of perspective. Got it?

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Out of Control

The older I get the more I come to realize so much of life is beyond my control. What is in my control are my emotions, my reactions, and my choices.

That’s all I got. The rest I leave to divine intervention.

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Going Through The Motions

Life is more than going through the motions of living. You know what I mean….get up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch some programming, clean up, do some laundry, go to bed….on and on same thing day after day after day until…you die.

No, life is more than simply existing.

Life is exciting, colorful, noisy, delicious, and so much more than what you are doing that you call living.

Get out there. Live! Go on adventures!

Yes, go to work. Do the things you need to do to provide for you and your family. Make those things an adventure too. Don’t settle because you think that there is nothing more.

The thing about life is it will not come find you. You have to go out and get it for yourself.

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Everyday Love

We should teach our children that fairytale romance is not real. Don’t believe for one second that love is fake. Love is real but perfect love that descends on you like a sweet song with sprinkled flower petals that smells of chocolate is not love. That’s Hollywood.

Real love is work. It’s full out communication and confession. It’s grimy and stinky. It’s laughter and tears. It’s frustratingly hard and soft enveloping too. It is healing and it hurts. Real love is every day and not always good.

Still, real love is worth everything.

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Commitment

Some humans have trouble with commitment. They want all the rewards and fun of the steady thing and the freedom of no strings attached at the same time. There is true agony sometimes in the choosing. We are taught that it is an either/or choice.

The truth is it can be both. If commitment is done right it can be freeing and not suffocating.

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Relocating is a Bear

We are moving next week. Packing and cleaning and sorting, oh my! So many things to remember. Did we call the let me fix that for you company? Did we schedule the window shiners and grout washers? Do we empty the freezer now or wait for a full moon? Do we really need all this stuff? It’s crazy fun and ferociously nerve racking.

Then there’s my husband. He says, “I scheduled the movers to come finish packing, load the truck, and unload at the new house. You just need to be your same beautiful self. I got this.”

Y’all, I love him.

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Because you Can

Humans are not always good at decision making. We often make decisions based on emotional response. We often decide to do things just because we can do it. We don’t consider that maybe we would be better off if we did not do it. Just because you can do a thing doesn’t mean you should.

Sometimes deciding not to doing a thing that you know you can do is the bravest decision to make.

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Change is Required

When someone looks at you and says, “Wow you have changed.” Say, “Yes, we humans do that.”

People are supposed to change. If you stay the same you get bored and stagnant. Life would be dull and colorless.

Change is is a good thing. Embrace it. Move toward it. Learn to like change.

It’s a Long Way to Ok

I’m trying to get into a new rhythm. New house and new routines are making me tired. I’m completely happy, love my new home, yet I am tired. I want to be just ok again.

It’s a long way to ok when your life gets toppled even for a good thing like a new home.

Change is difficult and I’m ready for normal peaceful blissful routine life.