Brendan & Lori O'Gara

I have had times in my life when I was alone. Not for long. I do not like being alone and yet, I crave alone time. Years ago I had a therapist tell me that I was, am, an intimacy addict. I love alone time. I like peace and quiet. I read a lot. I enjoy writing and listening to music. I like doing things uninterrupted. I like to set my things down and know that no matter how long it takes me to get back to it, it will be sitting right there. I do not like sleeping alone. Even worse than that I hate waking up alone. I want affection all the time and the peace that come from just breathing with another human who loves me.

The therapist explained it was the connection with another person that I craved, not the daily life things that comes with sharing a life. It is not about sex. It is about love and connection at the heart level.

Four years ago when my husband and our children moved in with me, or I moved in with him, it was a mutual moving together, the house was no longer empty. Yet, I still have quiet and alone time. I can also get snuggles and intimacy whenever I crave it.

Intimacy for some is like air. We can’t survive without affection. Most people need another human’s touch. There have been countless studied that have proved the human need of touch.

I realized I am an intimacy addict. I am easily hurt when someone doesn’t reciprocate. Finding balance in life is a must and moderation in all things is good.

But when it comes to love and showing love, there can never be too much.