I miss our crazy busy life. With three teenagers and two preteens, a full time job, writing part time, and a fur baby, my husband and I were always doing something or going somewhere. All of our schedules went in many different directions. We also had an active social life. There were friends at our house in our game room every weekend. We would go on adventures every week to either the beach, a park, or some other fun place. We had dinner out at least once a week.
All of that came to a screeching halt. The entire country was encouraged to just stop, so, we stopped.
We are on week three of shelter in place. I’m not complaining. I want my family safe so we do what is required. I am trying not to pout about missing out on dinner at our favorite restaurants, because I know this hermit type lifestyle will keep my family alive. I miss our friends and the fun we shared. I miss the adventures. My kids are home from school. No clubs, no band practice, and no friends visiting. No adult hang outs for my husband and I. No socializing. I’m still working but in what is called a no contact scenario. I’m taking over the top disinfecting precautions daily.
On the edges of my conscience is a sadness. I’m grieving our normal busy life. What’s more I’m growing increasingly angry. Angry at the people who act like this is not a big deal.
I hear of churches still meeting. People still having BBQs in my neighborhood with cars parked all down the street. I went to pick up bread and hunt for toilet paper. I saw families strolling through the store like nothing has changed. It makes me feel like the sacrifices my family and so many others are making is all for nothing.
I’m sad about it and hopeful too. I’m hopeful that we will see a shift in priorities in our society. I hope that the ones ignoring this crisis do not suffer due to their negligence, rather they see that we are all in this together. Maybe they will take things seriously before it’s too late.
When this is over, I hope we have learned the difference between need and want. I hope that we are reminded what everyday selflessness and human decency looks like.
That is my hope, but right now I am going to let myself be sad.
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