Brendan & Lori O'Gara

Why can’t humans just be honest?

We lie to maintain our comfort zone. Humans want life to be stable. We hate change. Some of us deal with change better than others. Navigating change is a learned skill. Often people panic and lie to protect their status quo.

We lie to be relevant. We want to fit in. We want to be known for being smart, responsible and well adjusted. We lie because we think the truth of who we are is not enough. Never enough.

The reasons why people lie are many. The main reason is self preservation. We don’t want others to think less of us. We want to be thought of as good even if we do things that are not good. We want people to like us. Never enough.

I used to lie. Self preservation was my lie of choice and I was good at it. Because I was so good at it, I can see a lie a mile away. In my experience, lies may delay the difficult situation but when the truth comes out the situation is many times more difficult than if you had just given up truth from the start. The truth always comes out. Always. I broke hearts, lost friends, and suffered at the expense of my lies. The cost was too high. Many years ago, I made the decision to never lie again.

Now I am brutally honest. You have to be sure you want to hear the truth before you ask me a question. I will carefully choose my words and tell you the truth. Your reaction is your problem. I am not responsible for what you do with the truth. If necessary, I will say that I can’t tell you yet. Sometimes truth needs to wait for the right time.

Since I am brutally honest, I don’t tolerate humans who lie. Just tell me the truth up front and let’s deal. If I discover that you had the opportunity to be honest and you chose lied to me, I will not trust you. If a person tells me the truth, no matter how bad or good the truth is, my first thought is that this human is worth my respect and time. Yes, the conversation might be difficult. Once the hard things are talked through peace fills the space that once held the lie.

I am a rehabilitated charlatan turned peace addict. I respect truth. I am true to who I am, like it or not. Me and truth are enough.

Light & Love, Lori