Brendan & Lori O'Gara

I was listening to a couple arguing over what move to watch. She said he couldn’t watch what he wanted because she didn’t like it. Then he said “Well I hate your girl movies.” It took all I had not to tell them to be nice. It takes an entire two seconds to say, “OK let’s watch both movies.” There must be a lot more going on between that couple of humans than only a different taste in movies.

If we can’t be nice to those we care about the most but can be polite to strangers, something is wrong with us.

I hear it all the time. Parents snap at children then smile at me. Spouses talk rudely to each other then polite to me, an outsider. Siblings argue over something not important and then turn around and speak kindly to an acquaintance.

The next time someone you love is stepping on your nerve and you want to fire an insult over the deck, take a moment and look at the big picture. Will speaking harshly make them or you feel better?

Try this instead. Speak as clearly and plainly as you can, even if it is to say, “Give me a minute.” Then give them a smile. It is difficult to be mean when smiling. Try again after you have gathered you response.

Be nice, especially to those you love.